Gilligan and the Skipper Need Not Apply

Posted by Princess Eva Angelica On 3:51 PM
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Are you a libertarian ... someone who would like the government entirely and completely off your ass in all matters public and private? If so, you may have some interesting housing options in the future.

We all know how Anne sucks at linking, so.....

The gazillionaire founder of PayPal, who is also heavily invested in Facebook, wants to create artificial libertarian islands in international waters. These islands would obey the laws of no country. Guns would be permitted, welfare not.

Can you imagine being a school teacher on a libertarian island?

"Okay, boys and girls, open your books to page 34. That is, if you want to. If you don't want to, you don't have to. You can do whatever you want. This includes distracting the kids who actually do want to learn what's on page 34. If all of you want to play video games, and there aren't enough consoles, then just fight it out. The strongest wins."

Can you imagine being "the help" on a libertarian island?

"I'm not going to clean your house today, Mr. Thiel. I don't feel like doing it. Oh, so you say you aren't going to pay me? Well, then I'll just have to shoot you. There are no laws against it, after all." BANG.

It's not like the idea of libertarian communities hasn't been tried before. There was one, I think it was called Dodge City, somewhere in the American West. Don't quote me, though. I went through a libertarian phase in high school, and I think I missed some classes.

We at "The Gods Are Bored" are all in favor of these expensive libertarian islands in international waters. One down side: An island outside of all national boundaries will have trouble finding any good deity to worship -- and recall that all religions have rules, so religion would be O-U-T, out! However, an expensive libertarian island seems like the perfect dumping ground for morons with money. To hell with taxing American billionaires! If they move to the libertarian island, we'll just smack a hefty tariff on every little thing they want. Pint of Ben & Jerry's? $10,200. Utz potato chips? $7500 an ounce. Don't even get me started on the cost of a T-bone, spring mix salad, truffles and home made apple pie. Why, we could fund two Camden police officers for a year, just on what the libertarian islanders would have to pay for a bag of Tootsie Pops!

Off you go, founder of PayPal and all your billionaire buddies. Off to no-nation waters, your little artificial island, like something out of a "Dr Who" episode. Bon voyage! Please note, though, that if you want to return to America, you will have to get a green card and apply for citizenship all over again. But why would you want to do that? You'll be so very happy in your world with no rules other than the ones you personally choose.

Wow. I so totally see a reality t.v. show in this one. Don't you?

Damn greedy, elitist bastards. Why don't we send them to Elba now, instead of waiting years for their prototypes to launch? Good riddance, they're doing nothing for us anyway.

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