Shopping Tips and Guidance by Mandy Claire

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," deity central in this time of We Want One God, and We Want His Laws.

If you just flew in on the red-eye from Los Angeles, here's the link to the wacky bell-ringers who want to shred our Constitution. Think of Sharia Law, only from a different book.

(I would like to add here that "The Gods Are Bored" will be dedicated this month to perusing the multiple praise and worship teams in the good ol' US of A, but that doesn't mean we aren't watching Occupy Wall Street and waiting for an opportunity to don the AFL-CIO t-shirt for a stroll past City Hall.)

Today I wish to welcome another bored Goddess. Her name is Changing Woman, and she is sacred to the Navajo Peoples of Arizona.

Anne: All Hail, beautiful Changing Woman! Welcome to New Jersey!

Changing Woman: Which way is the airport?

Anne: I feel ya. Those Arizona vistas are so popular there's a whole monthly magazine dedicated to them. Changing Woman, I've often thought about You, but I've never addressed You in a Ritual. So here, for the record, I would like to thank Your supremely intelligent praise and worship team for confounding the Japanese during World War II with the complexity of their language. I have always found that fascinating, and I'm sure You are behind it somewhere.

Changing Woman: I am always behind My people, watching them. Your so-called "America" hasn't been a friendly place for my praise and worship team, but nothing has kept My people from taking care of Me.

Anne: Thank goodness for that! Changing Woman, what would you say to a government that legislated religion, so that Your people would absolutely have to hear about the Fertile Crescent deity in their classrooms?

Changing Woman: I'd be all for My people hearing about God as a myth created by a literate tribe in what is now the western Mediterranean Basin.

Anne: Whoa. You're a very intelligent Goddess. (Is there any other kind?) And I love the way You created people to keep you company -- not as little mini-me half-clones for your amusement. I know I'd rather be a friend to a Goddess than a penitent to a God.

Changing Woman: Why don't you come with me to Arizona?

Anne: I don't have papers.

Changing Woman: Say no more. It's crazy out there right now.

Anne: Well, I won't keep You, Changing Woman. We'll offer a little prayer here for You, and if You would be so kind, I have a petition...

Changing Woman: Bring it on!

Anne: Would you get your son, Monster Slayer, to keep an eye on the One God theocrats?

Changing Woman: Already happening, Anne. Be of good cheer.


I stole the following chant from Debra, She Who Seeks, and I hope this link will take you to her, but if it doesn't, she's in my sidebar.

Let us commune with Changing Woman:

"There is a Woman,
She rides the night sky.
See Her spin, watch Her fingers fly!
She is within us, beginning to end:
Our grandmother, our sister, our friend." 

May the Gods bless America! May the Gods guard our First Amendment rights. Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of religion. So might it be.