Shopping Tips and Guidance by Mandy Claire

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Did you know that we share a common ancestor? Yes, readers, all of us share a common ancestor, maybe as recently as 50,000 years ago -- certainly not much more than 100,000 years ago. This makes us siblings, practically ... especially if you compare us to horseshoe crabs or trilobites.

You can argue with me if you want to about Great-to-the-nth-power Granny, but I'll bet she was a worrier.

If you've got a dozen kids or so, all of you living on the African plains (or even elsewhere, most places were much wilder then), you're going to be worried about:
1. lions
2. food
3. rivals
4. children's safety

Look at us, just a geological blip later! We have eliminated one, exactly one, object of anxiety from that list! The rest are still rocking on. Oh, you might say you're worried about losing your job, but the underlying and very real anxiety is starving.  Rivals? You don't have any in your life? Lucky you, but I still wouldn't turn my back on the wrong acquaintance. Machiavelli isn't even a blip from your doorstep.

If you don't worry about your children's safety, exit "The Gods Are Bored" immediately and go play in traffic.

Me, I'm a worrier. Have always been, will always be. When I was a kid, I used to have dreams about being devoured by lions. No doubt I was channeling Great-to-the-nth, as above.

People will give you a handbasket full of strategies for dealing with worry, including some very nice pharmaceuticals that I highly recommend ... after all, this is the modern era, no use wringing our hands like Great-to-the-nth.

Worry can also be taken to the bored gods. This is where They are so helpful to know, because you can always find one to fit your particular brand of anxiety. If you're suffering from unexpressed anger, a Warrior Goddess can kick butt for you. If you're anxious about that pesky young adult offspring who will walk about Philadelphia at night, there are dozens of Goddesses who will walk by her side. All you have to do is put your faith in Them. Don't pay attention to the unanswered prayers that the followers of the busy god are complaining about all the time! Bored deities deliver. What else do They have to do?

I'm trying to turn my issues over to the long-lost deities who hang about my Shrine of the Mists. My biggest challenge is to keep malice and bitterness out of the equation, and just let the deities sort things out in their pre-recorded-history way.

It's uplifting to take your troubles to a bored deity, not knowing how that deity handled such things back in the day. Like a celestial open-ended question.

"Dear Goddess, please do whatever you did in bygone times, and then report back to me, or not, as You please. And thank You for not judging me because I worry. Appreciate it."

Gosh, this is suspiciously like free advice. So I guess, in the spirit of the economic times, I'll have to pay you for taking it. Text me.

You will excuse me if I feel no sympathy for the film industry. Is it my fault that they spare no expense with their special effects? I don't go online looking for free films, but I also shed no tears for Big Entertainment. The rest of us are tightening our belts. Disney, don't come crying to me.

What concerns me about the online policing that SOPA and PIPA represent is the chilling effect it could have on freedom of speech. I wonder if we would see college students getting pepper-sprayed during Occupy. Our government is already herding journalists into cattle chutes, keeping them as distant from the front as possible -- whether it's in Afghanistan or Berkeley. Enter the People with their phones. (Alas, I'm not one of the People. My phone doesn't do film, and I wouldn't know how to work it if it did.)

Like it or not, the Internet has changed our world forever, and it has done so in a jiffy. It's going to keep doing so in the future, in even more of a jiffy. And it will have its downside, probably eventually fatal to millions of people -- because from my point of view (admittedly bleak), this is the way history tends after any big innovation.

In the meantime, we at "The Gods Are Bored" just want a little space to praise and worship Those who know best what any sea change can bring: forgotten Gods and Goddesses from the deep mists of time. They listen. They act. Be careful what you wish for.

But I think you're on safe ground wishing for a free and uncensored Internet. The Gods I see are so desperate for recognition that They check every search engine looking for any sign that They might be re-discovered.

I'm Anne Johnson ... always and forever Anne Johnson ... and I approve this message.

Breakfast is a meal that tends to be higher in carbohydrates and lower in protein- with go-to foods consisting of cereal, fruit, oatmeal, pancakes, toast, etc. However, starting the day with a high protein breakfast will help keep you fuller longer and provide less sugar-based calories that will leave you fatigued and hungry soon after. Here are some great ideas for high protein breakfasts

• Omelet with veggies and turkey bacon or sausage
• Protein Smoothie with yogurt, 100% protein powder, and 1 piece of fruit
• Protein Bar such as Think Thin, Zone Bars, Pure Protein, Detour Bars
• High Protein "No Oat Oatmeal" Made with Egg Whites and Nuts
• Whole grain toast with peanut butter
• Greek Yogurt with Almonds and Sunflower Seeds

What are your favorite high-protein breakfast ideas?