Shopping Tips and Guidance by Mandy Claire

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where things get curiouser and curiouser. Is life that way for you? I guess if I live long enough never to be surprised by people, I should just part the veil and step on through.

Thank you to all who have offered the aid of your dragons to the cause of the Mountain Tribe! I would only ask that you not send any dragon who has deep sentimental value for you, as we will be tossing them about a bit, and they might get torn or dusty or (OH PLEASE NO) muddy! If your dragon still wants to come to the Fairie Festival at Spoutwood, my email is luvbuzzards at yahoo dot com.

And now, a personal message, so skip this if you aren't PAM OR RITA! YES, PAM AND RITA, I NEED FABULOUS STUFF FOR THE MOUNTAIN TRIBE! We have an official banner, but a beautiful Mountain Tribe tapestry that can stand alone would be fabulous to have in the brand-new Tribe tent -- where there's no competition, oh no, but two of the four tribe leaders are ARTISTS. Contact me as above, and we can brainstorm! Do you want a challenge? Make me a 3-D tabletop mountain!

On to today's sermon. Tired old topic, I know, but this is what's on my mind as Mercury goes into a nasty Aries retrograde.

In the past year, my sister has adopted two dogs and five cats. She has gotten a tattoo. She and her husband paid to have their basement finished, pretty much just to give the cats somewhere nice to live. Now they are planning to travel to China to adopt a child.

Last week, my sister's wonderful, adorable Amazon parrot flew into a wall and died. Sis grieved for about 48 hours before her husband presented her with a new Eclectus parrot. Sis had had her Amazon for almost 25 years, but never mind, now she has a new parrot. "It is helping with the grieving process," she said.

Today I got an email from Sis. I'm sick over what she had to say, but not because of the money involved or any of that. It's just another red flag rising amongst a sea of red flags -- think of a bathing beach 1,000 miles long with a gale warning along the entire length of it. I'm talking that kind of red flag alert.

Must have been four years ago, Sis gave me some pierced earrings that she had gotten from her mother-in-law's estate. Two of the pairs were pretty valuable.

I'm not much of a wearer of fancy jewelry, and I'm pretty cavalier with gold and gems. It's all rock to me. (Well, except for my wedding ring.) So when the good folks battling development at Terrapin Run were seeking items for a silent auction (to help pay the land use lawyer), I donated the earrings to the cause. And they fetched a nice sum too.

In her email this afternoon, Sis asked if she could borrow one of those pairs of earrings. It seems that she has gotten her ears pierced. She is five years younger than I am, and she has worn clip earrings her whole life.

Whatever possessed her to get her ears pierced, she wanted the gift earrings back. Which of course can't happen, because the baubles in question saved a little stream.

The bigger alarm flag rose when she wrote that she could not afford a pair of 14-carat gold earrings right now.

With all the expenditures she and her husband have made in the past year (vet bills alone must be high four figures), what moved her to get her ears pierced in the first place? What is moving her to do all the things she's doing? I've told her I'm scared for her. I've told her to take the slow track on adopting, to outsource a few of the cats. I sent her a sympathy card for her bird, figuring there was no replacing that special parrot... It could not have arrived before the new bird was bought.

What's wrong with my sister? I'm so worried! I'm sure she'll provide a better home for a disabled Chinese boy than some orphanage, but it's not the child that gives me pause, it's her.

At this point I'm keeping things civil, because a while back I confronted her and was told that Druids must be bad people if they were so judgmental. I can't help but feel, though, that I'm watching construction of a house of cards. A pair of earrings is nothing compared to the magnitude of impulsive decision-making I'm seeing.

Oh snap. Thanks for listening. If you look at how the bored gods get along with their siblings, it's often similar stuff. Please light a calming candle for this sis of mine. Fire can only rage for so long before it consumes its fuel.