Shopping Tips and Guidance by Mandy Claire

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," a happy hunting ground for deities who don't deserve deletion! A god who corners the whole praise and worship market is rather like a gushing oil well. Something is bound to go wrong amongst the following, and then, what a mess! You don't need to stick to the straight and narrow, but try just the narrow. It's a more pleasant path.

Whew! Was I ever stressed out yesterday! I was so grateful for all your advice. And I took it, every last bit of it except climbing the fire tower and cursing to the sky. I have done that in the past -- it is a spectacular stress-reliever -- but I wasn't near a fire tower.

I do believe my favorite stress reliever is participation in a drum circle, either by drumming or dancing, or both, or just listening. Drum beats follow the rhythms of our hearts, and drummers connect our individual hearts to a wider astral heart that we all can share. All good praise and worship teams should have drumming.

I know you'll have trouble believing this, but when I was little I soothed myself by making up stories. I would then either tell the stories to my sister or elaborate upon them in my mind. I have kept doing this my entire life, and I've pulled one novel out of the process. Either by calling Faerie, or by grounding, or by disappearing into the imagination, it is possible to beat down the sand castle of stress.

Lately I've been telling myself a story about Merlin, not making much progress with it but loving the visit with him every night.

Always and forever, however, my OxyClean of stress management is humor. When all else fails, I just throw up my hands and laugh. Then I call Puck, and we try to turn someone into a newt. (We've never succeeded. Once, when Limbaugh was the target, we gave ourselves the shingles.)

Readers, I want to thank you again for your advice. The best advice is always free! If it requires a stipend, you inevitably doubt the sincerity of the giver. Don't believe me? Look around you at your local preachers. Case closed.

Don't stress, don't stress, don't stress.