Shopping Tips and Guidance by Mandy Claire

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," where this morning we are pissed to the gills and then some!

This morning's weather was a no-brainer for a delayed opening of school. Everything is glazed over with ice, since it's been sleeting or dripping freezing rain all night. But my alarm clock went off at 5:20 as usual. There was no phone call from the school. I checked the school's home page -- nothing. Checked the Philly news radio page. Our number was not there.

I showered and dressed. Mr. Johnson got up and went outside in the ice to scrape off the car. As I was eating my breakfast at 6:20, the call came in. Two-hour delay.

Due to the nature of our district, I'm sure some of the students were also up, dressed, and maybe even headed to their bus stops.

I've been sitting here catching up on my grading and some other administrative stuff, the kind of paperwork that used to be paperwork and is now online (thank goodness). My mind keeps drifting in another direction, though.

We have already had the full-day-out snow day that will have to be made up on Friday, April 29 -- the first day of the May Day Fairie Festival at Spoutwood Farm. It's a ticklish situation. I'm a non-tenured teacher, and I want to go to that festival.

My best recourse is to take a call-in-sick day. I have 20 days of sick leave already accrued, so barring a catastrophic illness, I should have the time. I also have a doctor (I call him "Dr. Mushroom," and that says it all) who will gladly see me for some referrals I need anyway, and then write me a note when I explain the situation.

It just galls me that I have to do this.

I can't take the chance of putting in a request for a personal day at the end of a long vacation, even if I ask for it for religious reasons. Beltane is May 1, a Sunday. It's not April 29, a Friday. The Fairie Festival, in recent years, has gone out of its way to ease up on Celtic praise and worship -- to the extent that, if I were to call it a "religious event," I would be stretching the truth.

Lies, lies, and more lies! I feel like all of this is going to give me bad karma.

I am therefore hoping for another bitterly cold and snowy winter like last year. If we get one or two more full snow days, more of the Christian spring break days will be lopped off the week. And if we have school on Wednesday and Thursday of that week, then I can ask for the personal day!

Isn't all this bureaucracy annoying? Just once I would love to see all the Christian teachers in the state have to bargain, call out sick, or take a chance of rejection for a leave of absence on Good Friday!

What a way to begin a week. Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks!