Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," waxing righteously indignant tonight and every night over the great gap between the wealthy few and the needy many. Oh, say. We've come a few baby steps from the slave labor used to build the Pyramids and grow cotton! But generally we're still wired either to dominate or recede.
I live in a place named Snobville. I teach in a place named Camden. It takes me nine minutes to drive to work, from Snobville to Camden.
Yesterday my daughter The Spare used this space to record a conversation she overheard from her classmates in which they extolled the virtue of bikini-shopping and moaned about having to fly to various resorts in coach amongst the "dirty people."
Yesterday and today I walked around my classroom as my students wrote about memorable moments in their lives. My students are nearly the same age as Spare and those girls she overheard.
Here is what is on the mind of my students:
*Mom dying of cancer, making plans with student to care for the younger siblings.
*Cousin being shot in a drug deal gone bad.
*Dad dying of liver cancer.
*Mom dying of a heart attack.
*Mom having so many heart attacks student learned how to dial 911 at age six. Mom has since died.
*Mom can't go home to Mexico to see her dying father because she doesn't have papers.
*Student gets called a gringo by his family in the Dominican Republic because he was born in America.
*Apartment fire, everything lost but our lives.
*Mom and Dad fought so much that a divorce is a relief.
*Cousin died, shot in crossfire.
*First ride in a squad car.
*Mom works six days a week, but on Sunday we have breakfast.
*My brothers were deported. I'll never see them again.
*Dad works three jobs to give us what he never had.
*I'm not allowed to write about my family. We are distantly related to Trujillo.
*No one in my family can speak English but me.
The misery these young people have seen is stunning. Their triumphs are few. Those who are upbeat write about love, parties, music, friends. Teenage things. But a patina of fear and resignation cloaks everything.
Even Spare, dear Spare, does not live with the expectations that her cousins will be shot and her apartment burnt down. But when I think that there are teenagers who wax indignant because they have to fly coach to a Mexican resort, I ... I ...
oh, crap. I feel a Billy Jack meltdown coming on. Clear the streets of Snobville while there's still time.
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" I've just had to beat my faeries back from the computer. One of my Facebook friends posted, "Be still and know that I am God" as a status. Damn Puck! I caught him in the action of typing, "Be gill and know that I am Cod." Disrespectful! Know whine for Puck two knight!
I gave blood today and then was observed by ten school administrators bearing clipboards. It seems like a good time for a guest blogger. So here's a transcript of the email I received this afternoon from my daughter The Spare, who is serving a four-year sentence in Snobville High with no time off for good (or bad) behavior.
Take it away, Spare:
I gave blood today and then was observed by ten school administrators bearing clipboards. It seems like a good time for a guest blogger. So here's a transcript of the email I received this afternoon from my daughter The Spare, who is serving a four-year sentence in Snobville High with no time off for good (or bad) behavior.
Take it away, Spare:
Boy do I have a story for you. Get ready because this is great.
So it was forth period study hall, and I was going around the school hanging up signs telling people to go look at the the Snobville HS Digital Gallery website. (I'm not sure why though, no one reads the newspaper, what would make anyone want to look at pictures?) I hung up a total of 11 signs. I know, I'm pretty legit. Anyways, I realize that I have a good 10 minutes left in the period and nothing to do. "Hmm," I ponder to myself, "I am quite hungry, I might as well stop by the cafeteria and grab a mere pretzel." Of course the stupid cafeteria ladies aren't at the snack place so I say, "Whatever, there is a vending machine. I'll just go to that." So I put in my dollar, and as usual it wouldn't accept it. ARG! So I flattened my dollar out for a good 5 minute and finally it accepted it. Just as I was about to get my delicious chips, they get stuck. DOUBLE ARG! I then try TWO MORE TIMES to get the snack. Nothing seems to work. Alone. Scared. Angry. And in some major need of chips, I just gave up. I went back to my study hall in a super bad mood. And just who do I see but a bunch of clone girls in a circle talking. It was like Star Wars: Clone Wars, only much MUCH worse. AMIRIGHT?! Their conversation went like so:
Ditzy Blonde 1: 7 days until I go to the Cayman Islands! Oh my gee!!!
Ditzy Blonde 2: First class?
Ditzy Blonde 1: Are you fucking joking, of course.
(Spare puts her Ipod in anticipating a horrible conversation. The Ipod dies. Spare's health goes down.)
Ditzy Blonde 2: UGH. My stupid dad won't let us. Like we're staying in the like resort thing in Mexico and its really pretty and all but like how much money is it for like 4 people to take first class? I'm taking coach all the way to Mexico. That's gross. Like the people who take coach, like they're dirty, right? Ugh, I want to throw up just thinking about it.
Ditzy Blonde 3: That's stupid. Your dad shouldn't do that to you. Like its the way you were raised. You've always taken first class.
Ditzy Blonde 2: I know, right? The only good thing about this stupid trip is that the gym overlooks the beach in my resort.
Ditzy Blonde 1: That's good. At least you can work out while you're there. You have to look skinny for Junior Prom. What are you gonna do about food there? You're gonna get so fat.
Ditzy Blonde 2: Oh I'm just bringing some granola and yogurt and I'm gonna eat that when I get hungry.
Ditzy Blonde 1: Good Idea. I think I'll do that too.
(By this time Spare is attempting to kill herself with her plastic spoon. It is not effective.)
Ditzy Blonde 2: Oh my god, I'm gonna look so great for prom if this diet works out.
Ditzy Blonde 3: Speaking of prom, what are we gonna do about Ditzy Blonde 4? If she doesn't get a date she can't come with us to the beach afterwards.
Ditzy Blonde 1: Ugh I don't know but it's so annoying. Anyways I bought my two bikinis for after prom. They are so cute. I got them at Nordstroms.
Ditzy Blonde 2: Congratulations! The bikini is like the second most important thing about prom, next to the dress. Are you guys gonna get a tan before prom?
Ditzy Blonde 1 and 3: Duh.
Ditzy Blonde 2: Good. I think I'm going to (insert some stupid tanning salon name here).
(Spare hits her head on the desk purposely.)
(All Ditzy Blondes look over in disgust, they then look at each other and snicker.)
(Spare looks at the clock. Only 2 more minutes of this. She considers drawing pictures of Daleks eating granola and yogurt. Or fashioning a weapon out of old gum wrappers.)
Ditzy Blonde 1: As I was saying, Cayman in 7.
(Spare decides on fashioning a weapon out of gum wrappers.)
Ditzy Blonde 2: Whore I'm so jealous! I'm only going to Key West!
(Spare is about to stab herself with the home-made weapon because she is Macgyver.)
(Bell Rings)
(Spare heads to Film as Art where she is watching Annie Hall)
Spare: Thank god for Woody Allen
Ditzy Blonde 1: (Under breath) She is so weird.
Sincerly,
Your Weird Daughter :)
Postscript from Anne: If any of you out there think the rich shouldn't get their taxes restored to Clinton-era levels, perhaps you're right. We wouldn't want these poor Snobville girls to fly coach, now, would we?
Why do I feel like hacking up a fur ball?
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Today marks the 150th anniversary of the American Civil War, the bloodiest conflict in America's short history. Make note that we were fighting each other, not some invader from across the briny deep.
Here we are, 150 years farther down the road, and we at "The Gods Are Bored" ask a question: Could there ever be another Civil War?
Ah, well, in all matters of war, pestilence, famine, bloodshed, and violence, I automatically call a bored god for an interview. With some trepidation (because last time he set my sofa on fire), I offer you Mars, the God of War. Please give a cool, calm, gentle welcome to Mars! Some hail!
Anne: Hello, Mars. Can I get you anything? A few anabolic steroids? Night vision goggles?
Mars: GOT 'EM ALREADY. DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR ME, IMPUDENT RISK-TAKER?
Anne: Yes. As You no doubt know (and approve), America is involved in a number of armed conflicts at present.
Mars: THE MORE THE MERRIER, I ALWAYS SAY.
Anne: I'm wondering if you see any civil wars in our future.
Mars: I'M WORKING ON IT.
Anne: What do you mean, you're working on it? You're trying to start a war, American against American? Something that could conceivably leave mounds of bodies in cornfields?
(Mars begins to slobber at the thought.)
Mars: FORGET IT. I MISSPOKE.
Anne: Crap on that! What do you have up your sleeve?
Mars: I DON'T HAVE TO DO MUCH HEAVY LIFTING HERE. YOU'VE GOT SOME HIGH-END MOVERS AND SHAKERS WHO ARE DIVIDING AND CONQUERING THE WORKING CLASSES. LOOK AT THIS THING IN WISCONSIN. NO FISTS FLEW ... THIS TIME. BUT JUST YOU WAIT.
Anne: I get you, God. If the drudge fights the drudge, and the rich look on from a comfortable distance, all that really happens is a convenient reduction in the workforce.
Mars: EVEN A SENATOR COULDN'T PHRASE IT BETTER THAN THAT.
Anne: Red states, blue states. Presidents of both parties that consistently support the wealthiest few at the expense of the many...
Mars: OH, WELL, YOUR LEADERSHIP WILL ALWAYS DO THAT. AND IF THEY CAN GET HALF THE POPULACE TO BUY INTO IT, ONLY THE SMALL WILL SUFFER.
Anne: I don't know why it is ... I interview bored deities here all the time ... but you are the only one who gives me a stomach ache and hives. I suppose you absolutely adored the American Civil War.
Mars: LOVED IT.
Anne: Favorite general?
Mars: IT SURE WASN'T MCCLELLAN. MY MONEY GOES WITH JACKSON, EXCEPT I COULD NOT GET THAT MAN TO TAKE A NAP.
Anne: So you were on the side of the South?
Mars: I HAVEN'T TAKEN A SIDE SINCE ROME FELL. STRICTLY FREE LANCE THESE DAYS. PRAY TO ME, AND I FIGHT WITH YOU. THE CAUSE IS NOT IMPORTANT.
Anne: Just what this planet needs. A war god for hire. I suppose business is good.
Mars: BOOMING.
Anne: Show yourself out, you sorry excuse.
Here we are, 150 years farther down the road, and we at "The Gods Are Bored" ask a question: Could there ever be another Civil War?
Ah, well, in all matters of war, pestilence, famine, bloodshed, and violence, I automatically call a bored god for an interview. With some trepidation (because last time he set my sofa on fire), I offer you Mars, the God of War. Please give a cool, calm, gentle welcome to Mars! Some hail!
Anne: Hello, Mars. Can I get you anything? A few anabolic steroids? Night vision goggles?
Mars: GOT 'EM ALREADY. DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR ME, IMPUDENT RISK-TAKER?
Anne: Yes. As You no doubt know (and approve), America is involved in a number of armed conflicts at present.
Mars: THE MORE THE MERRIER, I ALWAYS SAY.
Anne: I'm wondering if you see any civil wars in our future.
Mars: I'M WORKING ON IT.
Anne: What do you mean, you're working on it? You're trying to start a war, American against American? Something that could conceivably leave mounds of bodies in cornfields?
(Mars begins to slobber at the thought.)
Mars: FORGET IT. I MISSPOKE.
Anne: Crap on that! What do you have up your sleeve?
Mars: I DON'T HAVE TO DO MUCH HEAVY LIFTING HERE. YOU'VE GOT SOME HIGH-END MOVERS AND SHAKERS WHO ARE DIVIDING AND CONQUERING THE WORKING CLASSES. LOOK AT THIS THING IN WISCONSIN. NO FISTS FLEW ... THIS TIME. BUT JUST YOU WAIT.
Anne: I get you, God. If the drudge fights the drudge, and the rich look on from a comfortable distance, all that really happens is a convenient reduction in the workforce.
Mars: EVEN A SENATOR COULDN'T PHRASE IT BETTER THAN THAT.
Anne: Red states, blue states. Presidents of both parties that consistently support the wealthiest few at the expense of the many...
Mars: OH, WELL, YOUR LEADERSHIP WILL ALWAYS DO THAT. AND IF THEY CAN GET HALF THE POPULACE TO BUY INTO IT, ONLY THE SMALL WILL SUFFER.
Anne: I don't know why it is ... I interview bored deities here all the time ... but you are the only one who gives me a stomach ache and hives. I suppose you absolutely adored the American Civil War.
Mars: LOVED IT.
Anne: Favorite general?
Mars: IT SURE WASN'T MCCLELLAN. MY MONEY GOES WITH JACKSON, EXCEPT I COULD NOT GET THAT MAN TO TAKE A NAP.
Anne: So you were on the side of the South?
Mars: I HAVEN'T TAKEN A SIDE SINCE ROME FELL. STRICTLY FREE LANCE THESE DAYS. PRAY TO ME, AND I FIGHT WITH YOU. THE CAUSE IS NOT IMPORTANT.
Anne: Just what this planet needs. A war god for hire. I suppose business is good.
Mars: BOOMING.
Anne: Show yourself out, you sorry excuse.
Welcome to a new month with wonderful creations
made by you readers
We are very proud to show
you wonderful cards and projects
made by our readers.
made by our readers.
*************************************************
Valerie has been inspiratet by Marianne and her folder tecniques
and made a beautiful folded card by herself
Rosane has followed the tutorial of Marianne were she is showing us
how to make a easel post- it card.
Rosane has made a gourgous easel post it card, just
take a look:
The last one for this month is
Gry-Heidi has been inspirated by the
Gry-Heidi has made just fabulous tag in the boxes
and I presenting them
right here
by any of our articles.
We are looking forward to show of
your project in our magazine!
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Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" Ah, there's nothing like the first warm days of spring to remind me what a lazy lump I am and how pathetic my garden grows. I can look out my window and see my neighbor pruning her perfect flower beds ... oh hey! I can see them, and not my own yard! WIN!
Some of you have asked me how to lure faeries to your garden. You will be happy to know that there's a new book out called The Faeries' Guide to Green Magick from the Garden. It is by Jamie Wood with gorgeous illustrations by Lisa Steinke.
For those of you who can grow rosebushes through cracks in the sidewalk, this pretty little guidebook may be far too simplistic. No doubt you have herbal books that you use to press sunflowers. But for newbs like me, this little guide gives the names and purposes of several dozen herbs, flowers, and even trees, as well as recipes to make teas, breads, and remedies. There's advice on green gardening, magickal gardening, and co-existing with the fae. On this basis, I would heartily recommend it to those who've contacted me on the finer points of making the backyard faerie-friendly.
Given the fact that my one and only claim to fame is a half decent compost pile, I'm likely to derive some benefit from this book beyond just the quick essays on summoning faeries. That is, if I get past staring at the paintings. They really are beautiful.
As gardening season gets under way (for all the rest of you -- I see it as outdoor nap time), you might want to pick up a copy of The Faeries' Guide to Green Magick in the Garden.
Now. Where's my hammock?
Some of you have asked me how to lure faeries to your garden. You will be happy to know that there's a new book out called The Faeries' Guide to Green Magick from the Garden. It is by Jamie Wood with gorgeous illustrations by Lisa Steinke.
For those of you who can grow rosebushes through cracks in the sidewalk, this pretty little guidebook may be far too simplistic. No doubt you have herbal books that you use to press sunflowers. But for newbs like me, this little guide gives the names and purposes of several dozen herbs, flowers, and even trees, as well as recipes to make teas, breads, and remedies. There's advice on green gardening, magickal gardening, and co-existing with the fae. On this basis, I would heartily recommend it to those who've contacted me on the finer points of making the backyard faerie-friendly.
Given the fact that my one and only claim to fame is a half decent compost pile, I'm likely to derive some benefit from this book beyond just the quick essays on summoning faeries. That is, if I get past staring at the paintings. They really are beautiful.
As gardening season gets under way (for all the rest of you -- I see it as outdoor nap time), you might want to pick up a copy of The Faeries' Guide to Green Magick in the Garden.
Now. Where's my hammock?
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," bringing you a strict diet of old-time religion ... emphasis on the old. Accept no substitutes, all of our deities are time-tested with high approval ratings.
I don't have much time today, because Heir is sick and needs my attention. But I did want to thank those of you who recommended music for my second-hand, gently used MP3 player. Just as with clothing and kitchen supplies, I will never buy new or retail. I'll just wait for someone to outgrow or discard old electronics and basically be a step behind everybody else.
The MP3 player works. I've loaded Faun, Decemberists, Coyote Run, and even a selection of "Leaves of Grass."
Now I'm going to make a suggestion to y'all.
When I listen to Celtic music, I feel myself saying, "Where's the banjo?" That's because I grew up on hillbilly music, bluegrass to be precise. Bluegrass is a fusion of Scottish-Irish and African influences. Because the banjo is an African instrument, albeit modified in its stylistics for bluegrass.
Traditional bluegrass really is hillbilly music, and not many people like big doses of it unless they've got a little hillbilly in them.
In the late 1970s a group of young performers got together and created a sound called New Grass. This was a fusion of bluegrass, reggae, jazz, and country. It surely would have fizzled (and it since has), except the musicians in question were absurdly talented. They were:
John Cowan, vocals. Unparalleled in bluegrass music.
Sam Bush, fiddle and mandolin. A master of both, with jazz stylings. Sam's the one who covers Bob Marley.
Bela Fleck, banjo. He learned jazz banjo, moved to bluegrass, returned to jazz and now plays with the Flecktones.
These three dudes were in a band called The New Grass Revival. They were pretty successful in their time, but they broke up in (I think) 1989. If you watch their videos on YouTube, you can see that John Cowan wore his hair in that classic ugly 1980s style. It doesn't detract from his incredible vocals.
So, we at "The Gods Are Bored" highly recommend that you sample the New Grass Revival. Let me know if you like them. Sam Bush also has a solo album called "Glamor and Grits" that travels new ground, and both Sam and John contributed to a Leftover Salmon album. I could tell you the name of it, but Spare is listening to Doctor Who music on the MP3 right now. She recommends a terrific band called Chameleon Circuit. Nuff said.
Anyone have any idea how many albums I can put on a 5g MP3 player? The clock is still ticking -- I have until April 27 to fill it to the gills.
I don't have much time today, because Heir is sick and needs my attention. But I did want to thank those of you who recommended music for my second-hand, gently used MP3 player. Just as with clothing and kitchen supplies, I will never buy new or retail. I'll just wait for someone to outgrow or discard old electronics and basically be a step behind everybody else.
The MP3 player works. I've loaded Faun, Decemberists, Coyote Run, and even a selection of "Leaves of Grass."
Now I'm going to make a suggestion to y'all.
When I listen to Celtic music, I feel myself saying, "Where's the banjo?" That's because I grew up on hillbilly music, bluegrass to be precise. Bluegrass is a fusion of Scottish-Irish and African influences. Because the banjo is an African instrument, albeit modified in its stylistics for bluegrass.
Traditional bluegrass really is hillbilly music, and not many people like big doses of it unless they've got a little hillbilly in them.
In the late 1970s a group of young performers got together and created a sound called New Grass. This was a fusion of bluegrass, reggae, jazz, and country. It surely would have fizzled (and it since has), except the musicians in question were absurdly talented. They were:
John Cowan, vocals. Unparalleled in bluegrass music.
Sam Bush, fiddle and mandolin. A master of both, with jazz stylings. Sam's the one who covers Bob Marley.
Bela Fleck, banjo. He learned jazz banjo, moved to bluegrass, returned to jazz and now plays with the Flecktones.
These three dudes were in a band called The New Grass Revival. They were pretty successful in their time, but they broke up in (I think) 1989. If you watch their videos on YouTube, you can see that John Cowan wore his hair in that classic ugly 1980s style. It doesn't detract from his incredible vocals.
So, we at "The Gods Are Bored" highly recommend that you sample the New Grass Revival. Let me know if you like them. Sam Bush also has a solo album called "Glamor and Grits" that travels new ground, and both Sam and John contributed to a Leftover Salmon album. I could tell you the name of it, but Spare is listening to Doctor Who music on the MP3 right now. She recommends a terrific band called Chameleon Circuit. Nuff said.
Anyone have any idea how many albums I can put on a 5g MP3 player? The clock is still ticking -- I have until April 27 to fill it to the gills.
It´s time for me to present the winners of the April challenge..."An Easter card in two colours of which one has to be yellow".
First I´d like to thank all of you for joining our challenge. We´ve had a hard time picking the winners among all your lovely creations and it was very even in the topc- only one point differed between the winner and the second place.
Luckily this month we have two equally fabulous prizes, sponsored by STEMPELGLEDE!
And the second prize, these lovely stamps...
First I´d like to thank all of you for joining our challenge. We´ve had a hard time picking the winners among all your lovely creations and it was very even in the topc- only one point differed between the winner and the second place.
Luckily this month we have two equally fabulous prizes, sponsored by STEMPELGLEDE!
And the second prize, these lovely stamps...
... goes to
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...with this gorgeous card:
And then on to our lucky winner who gets these beauties, also from Stempelglede:
And the winner is
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What an amazing card!!!
BIG CONGRATULATIONS to both of you, ladies!!!
Please e-mail your addresses to stampartic@gmail.com so we can send you your prizes.
Have a great Sunday!
