Shopping Tips and Guidance by Mandy Claire

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" The vulture mascot costume arrived, and soon to follow is my daughter The Heir! Heir knows how to shoot videos, so perhaps you'll soon see me in all my vulture finery!

It's the funniest thing, but I've noticed it frequently. There's always some little bit of good to be found in any bad situation. This philosophy kept me in the Methodist Church for years. But never did I think anything spectacular would come out of the stupid night school classes I have to get in order to get a piece of paper saying I can do the job I'm already doing.

In night school, each of us students has had to get up and teach a "lesson" on something we find interesting. I did mine on kitten fostering. This past Wednesday it was someone else's turn.

That someone was a tall, young guy with a South Philly accent. His topic was being a Mummer.

Not much can divert my attention from buzzards during Buzzard Week, but this did. I finally met a Mummer!

For my three readers who don't know, Philadelphia has an annual Mummer's Parade on New Year's Day. Lots and lots of people -- mostly men -- dress up in sequins and feathers. And they strut in lavish routines. If you're a TGAB regular, you've seen the YouTubes.

I've lived in the Delaware Valley for 25 years, and I had never met a Mummer. They are, with perhaps the exception of the drunken Comics, titans one and all in my book. I would rather meet the humblest Mummer than Kevin Bacon or Bruce Springsteen. So, meeting one and learning about what it takes to be a Mummer, was absolutely fascinating to me. That one short presentation made up for every boring Bigwand harangue, and then some.

One of the things I learned was that each Mummer has to buy and assemble his own costume. My Mummer spends $2500 a year. He raises the money by selling chances. Guess who's gonna be buying a lot of chances? Heck, it's high time I got lucky!

After his presentation I gave him a hug. He said that some people on my side of the river don't even know what Mummers are. Well, I do. They're fabulous, and now I have my very own to support and root for. Sweet!