Gotta Live Like Auntie Mame

Posted by Princess Eva Angelica On 2:07 PM
Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" What are you going to do when you retire? Have you ever thought about it? Well, think no more, because you probably won't retire. No one will be able to afford to retire in the new Red America.

What with the under-funded and looted pension accounts, the under-funded and looted Social Security, and the under-funded Medicare, you and I will be flipping burgers or shoving Chinese merchandise into mail-order envelopes until we keel over from our untreated diseases.

Ah, this sounds so depressing, doesn't it? Well, what we need is a change in plans.

If you're never going to retire, go into semi-retirement now!

By semi-retirement I mean, work as little as you need to in order to get your job done. And then party like it's 1999 every chance you get! Don't squander your years of health and vigor working diligently for a company that has no allegiance to you ... or a government that wants you to pick up its slack.

Gone are the days when a person could spend 40 years in a job and then retire with a gold watch and a pension. None of us will get that. No matter how things turn out in Wisconsin, the Red Scare is upon us. Act accordingly.

One of the criticisms leveled at communism is that it stifles incentive. Sadly, the same is true of capitalism, if only a few at the top profit while everyone else struggles.

So pledge allegiance to yourself and to your deities, take what little salary you have left after all the give-backs, and live in the moment. Reconfigure your whole concept of time! There's no future worth living for. Live now. Right now. And blessed be.

In keeping with the new era of shared sacrifice, I am now paying you for my free advice. Send an invoice.

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